Sunday, January 31, 2010 ♥
I am not being myself lately. I get angry and frustrated over small stuffs. It is definitely not moodswing. I just find it so hard to control my feelings, seriously. Naturally, i let the 'anger' hormones in me to screw myself up.
I went for graduation ceremony for my upgrade in belt. I got a pathetic 71%.
I know, i did not expect it also.
2 yrs of seasoning the pathetic colourless belt.
Maybe, another 2 yrs of waiting then go for graduation,again.
HAHA.
Ada perasaan yang bermain di lubuk hatiku. Yang aku sendiri tak mampu untuk
menghitung. Aku ingin luahkan setiap apa yang tersirat di dalam hatiku. namun,
aku tak berdaya. aku tak berdaya untuk berkata, mahupun menulis. bengkak di jiwa
ini semakin bengkak, bernanah. kerana, banyak yang aku pendamkan. aku ingin
kebahagiaan yang aku kecapi dahulu bersamanya. namun, hatiku berkeras. mana
mungkin hari yang aku lalui, aku teruskan dengan kebahagiaan tanpa insan yang
selalu dekat padaku? aku tulus menyayangimu. tulus hatiku mencintaimu. namun,
keegoanku menghalang kerna silap lalumu. maafkan aku kasih. aku rindu renungan
matamu. aku rindukan segalanya. sungguh.
I can lie to anyone, but not my feelings.
off.
p/s: sorry dad. sorry sayang.
@ 8:09 AM
Saturday, January 30, 2010 ♥
I had a fun time with hanisah-darling. Off to orchard and meet Elliyana for lunch at Takashimaya Seoul Garden. Then off to far east to get stuffs i had been eye-ING on. I bought a blouse, trousers and a bag. Same bag with that kentaang.
Met mama at causeway point, head to pasar malam, then home.
Wan gave me 3 pieces chicken from KFC, and that is my dinner. I only got 1 piece to eat, cause the rest my adik-adik curik.
I hated this love life given to me. Seriously. Whenever, i love and
treasured that someone alot, that person had never treasure and appreciate what
things i had done. It is never easy for me to fall for a guy. Especially to
accept someone as my partner. Someone i could share my sorrow and joy with. I
don't need a guy with high qualification, that puts on a vest to school, puts on
3 piece to date me out. I just need someone who could treasure and appreciate me
and my weaknesses.
To whoever it may concern:-
I miss you. Alot. But you.. You made me hide that feeling far from everything. Everything.
I lost my mood.
@ 10:33 AM
Friday, January 29, 2010 ♥
I had to be frank. It wasn't me just now. Everything turned dull. And i really got bored of it.
Seriously. Its way too much, till i teared again. Twice during training. I am not getting myself ready for National Service, but i am getting myself physically fit only. I just don't care about the post given, i just wanna be an athlete.
Next week, last week of school, and then it is gonna be a study break for semestral exams.
Im just toooo tired of everything.
Mum don't let me go for tommorrow's selection. My leg, hasn't really cure. But, i ain't weak. Its just that, the time doesn't permits.
All the best then. =))
@ 8:54 AM
Wednesday, January 27, 2010 ♥
I cried. Cause i lost one of my most precious thing. Really.
I don't know what made me be so clumsy.
But, i know..
I am dissapointed and angry at myself for being a grizzly clumsy bear.
No mood.
@ 5:39 AM
Tuesday, January 26, 2010 ♥
First and foremost, friendly with SP was a blast.
I had two fights and 1 seni. That performance of mine, wasn't up to my actual standard. REALLY. I don't know why i trembled when i step into the arena. I took things too lightly. Especially my injuries. My old injuries which i got it two years ago and 3 weeks ago. Apart from the few reminders and warnings from concern pals and loved ones, i still carry on with the fight. It really really hurts. ALOT. The only thing i remembered was, ENDURANCE. =)
I saw shuhadah sayang on HER BIKE!
=))
Get to spend quality time with mama and sisters today. I really miss those time.
**This had gone to far. Way too much that i could not persevere anymore. I
am tired of everything. Every single thing that is happening around me. I wish i
could be an ignorant to my surroundings. I don't care what is happening anymore.
I just want to be on my own. Be a self-centred one, that no one bothers to know
what is happening to me. I am too young for this, really.**
I ain't smiling anymore. =(
Cause every single time i tried to, i could feel the tense that hurts my cheeks so much.
That i stop smiling and instead i...
@ 6:33 AM
Wednesday, January 20, 2010 ♥
I AM HAPPY CAUSE I MET SHUHADAH SAYANGGGG YESTERDAY NIGHT!
I love the long talk with her.
And i miss going out with her.
I remembered when we went for cycling, i banged on the fence with my bike. And made a bangla laughed his ass out.
I remembered she took out coins from her pocket to buy drinks at sembawang seven eleven.
I remembered we spar at home and i slapped her out of the blue moon.
I remembered i cried when i quarelled with her cause i love her just too much. =))
I ended my individual presentation just now. And i got a B.
WAIT, i started to miss people from my secondary school. The one that i always hang out with after school. Get into much trouble during class. Finna, i know, you won't be reading this.. but i just miss those time when we share everything under the void deck.
I miss being a cadet. I prefer being a cadet to a cadet inspector. Seriously.
I am working today after 1 week i had not attend to customer and their lame needs.
=))
** how bad can i be **
@ 6:12 PM
♥
I AM HAPPY CAUSE I MET SHUHADAH SAYANGGGG YESTERDAY NIGHT!
I love the long talk with her.
And i miss going out with her.
I remembered when we went for cycling, i banged on the fence with my bike. And made a bangla laughed his ass out.
I remembered she took out coins from her pocket to buy drinks at sembawang seven eleven.
I remembered we spar at home and i slapped her out of the blue moon.
I remembered i cried when i quarelled with her cause i love her just too much. =))
I ended my individual presentation just now. And i got a B.
WAIT, i started to miss people from my secondary school. The one that i always hang out with after school. Get into much trouble during class. Finna, i know, you won't be reading this.. but i just miss those time when we share everything under the void deck.
I miss being a cadet. I prefer being a cadet to a cadet inspector. Seriously.
I am working today after 1 week i had not attend to customer and their lame needs.
=))
** how bad can i be **
@ 6:12 PM
♥
Just end my formal presentation.
Nothing to describe about the speech i delivered just now..
BUT, atrotious lorr.
AHAHAH.
THEN! i forget i got one more slide to talk on, i passed the MIC to gary oready. ACTUALLY not mic, but the next person to talk to is him lah.
If i am able to upload pictures on my formal wear... then i will.
=))
I miss Nurul Aisyah.
I always end school late, training and werking till late night.
I just miss her craps, her hugs and kisses.
Really.
When i put on my formal vest just now, she touched my button and say, "kakak, why so big button??"
She's wonderful.
Really.
Okay then,
Au revoir.
Be good people.
@ 6:12 PM
Tuesday, January 19, 2010 ♥
I believe that for everything that happens, there is always a reason.
&& I believe that GOD knows the best.
I get exhausted easily.
++ the strong migraine.
ESPECIALLY, when i think of..
the assignments that i oweee.
=))
Wish me luck peeps.
@ 9:21 AM
Saturday, January 16, 2010 ♥
Sorry for the long absence readers.
Im busy with work, school work and projects plus trainings for friendly.
* Apologies to izaa syg for the injure i had caused.
School, i enjoyed most of the days. With great people ive met since April 2009. And guess what, i am ending my first yr soon in 5 wks time. IT MEANS, exams are on the way in 5 weeks time. I went to bowling with mas, fahmi and wan. during different occasion, enjoying myself like ive never did before. A very great experience to bowl with great people.
Work, pathetic customers never fail to make my life difficult. Complaints and lots of complaints. About the tele-pharmacy, which is an advance technology, still got stupid china lady, that have to standard to speak perfect english in SINGAPORE, says that SINGAPORE HAS GOT A VERY STUPID MEDICAL SYSTEM! Well, tell me facts on why SINGAPOREANS can live freely and healthily and had not breed any deadly diseases like your country. Im siding my COUNTRY's right for your information.
Training, i started to enjoy training at school as i bond with the people well, no more feeling like, whether this person like me or not. AHAHAH. CHILDISH. We bond well after the open house training especially. YA! the video, you guys can catch at my facebook profile. And that will be the last time i will be doing dangdut. AHAH. 5 days countdown to friendly. LOTS OF LUCK NYP.
Projects, projects are getting more and more and more and more. C++ are on my nerves. Stupid, cannot tolerate the lecturer anymore. Too much already. I just don't want to repeat any modules. Please. Comms skills have two upcoming presentation. Need to invest some on my formal wear.
Family, dad have got something wrong in his sound system.
Sis : Aaron tarik suhaila gi malaysia.
Ayah : HUH? Aaron tarik seluar kau kat malaysia??
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.
I told him to use Haziq's ear thingy, then poke2 inside. HAHAHAH.
OKLAH! got to go!
Be good people.
@ 10:05 PM
Saturday, January 2, 2010 ♥
Anything might and may happen if you are desperate for money. Even if your resolution for the NEW year is not to take people money without people permission. Especially..if you are working and holding cash in your hands.
*enough said. too much clue.*
anw!!
new year resolution
-be a good girl.
HAHAHAA.
@ 10:08 AM
