I cried for 4 nights endlessly. I had no sleep for 4 nights straight. Eventhough naimah sayah, hanisah darling kolled me late at night to keep me accompany. I had no proper meals for the past week. I cudden endure the pain that pierce through my heart. I get sensitive over small issues. And i am being self-centred not to let other someone live with my love. I got so scard that every moment i breathe, i feel the pain in my heart and i feel like throwing up. When i control, i could feel my body shivers. Not because i am cold, cause i shiver and i perspire.

For the past months, i had been thinking what and how do i get to the point that i wudden want any separation from you anymore. I wanna continue the 3 yrs that we've built this far. It was such a great roller coaster ride with you. The ups and downs together we went through. Now, i regretted for what i had done, and when i re-read my previous and past post, i could feel that, i left you for a reason. And that reason is your character. You man-ly character. Now, i understand why.

Eventhough ive been contacting other people, i had been talking about you. How much i miss being with you. I do not want this to end, cause this is very lovely. And i had never love you like anyone i am with before. Add on, i know, no one can love me like you do. And no one can love you more than i could. I am not being selfish, but this, is a fact that everyone on the Maia had to swallow. Eespecially, those that want to destroy us.

I read our past conversation that i save it in my folders and i do miss the time alot..

I miss:
-you calling me baby
-you callin me sayang
-being with me through my ups and downs
-fighting with each other
-you calling me names. sepit, ciner,nutella
-talking to you late at night
-your wishes without me asking for
-you disturbing me
-pujok rayu you
-merajok
-bermanjer
-eating chocolates with you
-tearing chicken and quarrel over it
-you laughing at my stupidity
-your everything


I miss your eyes pierce through mine. I miss those days spent together like no one else is looking at us. What if this world belongs to us, only us...? I appreciate the love you gave me before and i hope and could only ask for one.. My love and yours to reunite like last time..

Hubby, there is no one else that i call that name. Sayang, tak pernah i panggil orang laen sayang. I,u? I never talk to someone using that term, cause to me, that is mainly for me and u. Hug, i never hug a guy like you in my entire life. Kiss my forehead, i never let any guy do so after i am with you, 3 years ago. Sing, i miss the time you sing your heart out for me. In between the song, there's my name and i wish that would stay.

Read, read all the past 3 months post, there is never a month, that i never thought of you. Never a day i went off withouth thinking of you. Never a second that brushes through that i forget about you. Negligence isnt the same as, i don't love you.

Everytime when my hand held to anything, it drops cause i lack of everything. And the everything is you. I had no proper meals to give me energy cause i had not heard the words i wanna hear from you to give me strength and pull me up. And i let others walk ahead of me cause, i wanna hide my tears. Tears that had never stop drooling. Though the past 3 months, i had cried for you. CAUSE, I JUST MISS YOU SO MUCH, MUHAMMAD RIYADH.

I am not strong to look you to fall to another girl's hand. Cause all this past years, you had always been mine. Heck care, the past that had happened, your mistakes, mine, all this are the learning point. And i don't care what you had to say, cause mainly, i had only love you. Only you.

Come back and i will prove to you that no one can love and care for you like i do.