HRC just now.
had lots of fun with the cadets, my mates and the F.Is there.
all perangai.

Mum teman me shopping tadi.
I bought, a new sling bag, sandals for school, mascara, eyeliner, powder, and a new diary!

I need to start a new.

I have to..

=))

Much love,
Me.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010 ♥

Alhamdulilah.
Ive passed my semester 2, year 1 examinations.
All are over. As yet, problems between me and him never end.
I just miss those late night calls.
You know, the time when we laugh to your lame jokes.
Lame, but it tickle me enough.

Well,
i had enough of all my sad and hard times.
Time now is to re-focus on starting school.
And yes,
i miss school and the peeps.

@ 9:49 AM

Thursday, March 18, 2010 ♥

Well, ive got this feeling.A very bad feeling. I don't know what the hint is.. But i tend to over-think and think and make and put myslef into deep shit.

Just hope that everything goes fine tommorrow.
With the one i wanted the support from.
Yeahh.
















labels : Please, get the thing right. I do still love you like i used to.
I cant deny the fact.. every single minute.. i wish you will be around.

@ 10:41 PM

Tuesday, March 16, 2010 ♥

FULL SHIFT TODAY!
tired.
MATER KOYAK!
k bye

@ 10:43 AM

Saturday, March 13, 2010 ♥

I am having high fever. And i still went for trainings. I just wanna release everything.
I get breathless easily. And i keep losing my stance.
Mungkin tak lame.

I hate that indian man and his words.

@ 9:50 AM

Friday, March 12, 2010 ♥

It is so hard to accept the fact that, you would leave the one that had been there for you. Through the up and down. This doesnt have to be a guy by my side. To make me happy, live my life all the way.. Its my family, my lovely bestie. Welll, only god knows how much i treasure the people around me.

I am afraid of the future.
Afraid where i will end up after poly.
Working or still schooling?
Then, i think again.
That one, i know i can handle.
But, im thinking again.
The one that will be my husband.
Will i treat him good?
Get engaged, married, got kids.
OMG. Takot.
But, what if..
WHAT IF, tak sempat untukku lalui semua ini..??


Hey, naimah darling.. My pillar of strength is from you .. ESPECIALLY, the past 10 years... Aku malas nak kira exactly.. Sebab dah lamer sangat. Be strong k pantat.

I miss hanisah.



k, bye.

@ 9:29 AM

Thursday, March 11, 2010 ♥

He said emergency.
I said wad.
He said standby.
I said good or bad.
He said, some good, some bad.
I said, will i tear?
He said yes, sori.
I said cry for good or bad?
He said, cannot tell.
I begged.
He said no.




After the sleepless night, wrapped up with the word, I'm scared, i miss his laughter, and just now, he laughed. Laughed with me. Hey, best man, you know what? well, i don't know when are you gonna read this. Or maybe not. But, do you know that i actually kept a diary of you, the both of us...? Even when i am not around with you, i still update that diary.. And that diary, knows what i truly felt for you, with or without you by my side. eventhough, im still petrified of tommorrow.. i am happy to hear you laugh with me. You know, the time when we talked to each other on phone every night before sleeps... they way we laughed. the way we talked and everything... the way i bermanjer with you.. the way i say please and you stick to you thinck NO. well, i dun want this to end, seriously. Cause i know,we'll last kan darling..??
and, from young, i had this citer-citer, i wanna marry with a policeman, cause to me, a policeman is someone that can look after me, so that no one will bully me...



no, i love you way to much sayang..

@ 7:16 AM

Wednesday, March 10, 2010 ♥

Biar diriku ini disini
Meniti hari untuk aku menanti
Buat diri kasih
Yang amat aku sayangi

Pergi gunda gulana
Bersama angin berlagu puisi
Aku ingin berbahagia
Bersama kekanda pilihan hati

Jangan ucap kata sayang
Pada insan yang baru kau kenali
Jangan utus kata rindu
Pada insan yang baru hadir
Kerna, tak mungkin dia akan menyayangi dan merindui kau seperti ku.

Silap lalu mu aku maafkan
Aku lenyapkan dari fikiranku
Agar aku dapat teruskan untuk bersamamu
Demi suatu kebahagiaan
Yang telah kita kecapi dulu

Beri aku peluang
Menebus silap laluku
Sesungguhnya aku manusia
Tak jauh dari khilaf dosa.

Sudikah engkau kotakan janji
Yang telah kita bina selama ini
Apakah pengorbanan yang telah kita beri
Akan terbuang mengikut arus hari
















labels: I love you alot

@ 8:44 PM

Tuesday, March 9, 2010 ♥

I cried for 4 nights endlessly. I had no sleep for 4 nights straight. Eventhough naimah sayah, hanisah darling kolled me late at night to keep me accompany. I had no proper meals for the past week. I cudden endure the pain that pierce through my heart. I get sensitive over small issues. And i am being self-centred not to let other someone live with my love. I got so scard that every moment i breathe, i feel the pain in my heart and i feel like throwing up. When i control, i could feel my body shivers. Not because i am cold, cause i shiver and i perspire.

For the past months, i had been thinking what and how do i get to the point that i wudden want any separation from you anymore. I wanna continue the 3 yrs that we've built this far. It was such a great roller coaster ride with you. The ups and downs together we went through. Now, i regretted for what i had done, and when i re-read my previous and past post, i could feel that, i left you for a reason. And that reason is your character. You man-ly character. Now, i understand why.

Eventhough ive been contacting other people, i had been talking about you. How much i miss being with you. I do not want this to end, cause this is very lovely. And i had never love you like anyone i am with before. Add on, i know, no one can love me like you do. And no one can love you more than i could. I am not being selfish, but this, is a fact that everyone on the Maia had to swallow. Eespecially, those that want to destroy us.

I read our past conversation that i save it in my folders and i do miss the time alot..

I miss:
-you calling me baby
-you callin me sayang
-being with me through my ups and downs
-fighting with each other
-you calling me names. sepit, ciner,nutella
-talking to you late at night
-your wishes without me asking for
-you disturbing me
-pujok rayu you
-merajok
-bermanjer
-eating chocolates with you
-tearing chicken and quarrel over it
-you laughing at my stupidity
-your everything


I miss your eyes pierce through mine. I miss those days spent together like no one else is looking at us. What if this world belongs to us, only us...? I appreciate the love you gave me before and i hope and could only ask for one.. My love and yours to reunite like last time..

Hubby, there is no one else that i call that name. Sayang, tak pernah i panggil orang laen sayang. I,u? I never talk to someone using that term, cause to me, that is mainly for me and u. Hug, i never hug a guy like you in my entire life. Kiss my forehead, i never let any guy do so after i am with you, 3 years ago. Sing, i miss the time you sing your heart out for me. In between the song, there's my name and i wish that would stay.

Read, read all the past 3 months post, there is never a month, that i never thought of you. Never a day i went off withouth thinking of you. Never a second that brushes through that i forget about you. Negligence isnt the same as, i don't love you.

Everytime when my hand held to anything, it drops cause i lack of everything. And the everything is you. I had no proper meals to give me energy cause i had not heard the words i wanna hear from you to give me strength and pull me up. And i let others walk ahead of me cause, i wanna hide my tears. Tears that had never stop drooling. Though the past 3 months, i had cried for you. CAUSE, I JUST MISS YOU SO MUCH, MUHAMMAD RIYADH.

I am not strong to look you to fall to another girl's hand. Cause all this past years, you had always been mine. Heck care, the past that had happened, your mistakes, mine, all this are the learning point. And i don't care what you had to say, cause mainly, i had only love you. Only you.

Come back and i will prove to you that no one can love and care for you like i do.

@ 7:30 PM

Monday, March 8, 2010 ♥

I miss you alot.

Muhammad Riyadh B Asli..

I want the old hubbie the first time i know you..

No more seperate.

@ 8:22 AM

Wednesday, March 3, 2010 ♥

Sorry for the long absence, readers.

Latest update: I am having an eye infection. That produces alot of discharge. Disgusting discharge that i have to clear it off often. I had it twice already. I think i need to get a spectacles before my eyes worsen and may lead to future blindness. HAHA. Anw, hanisah mother gave me the Naphcon-A eye drop. Mannn, i am scared of medication and eye drops, especially. I could feel my hands trembling loooorrr! HAHA. and hanisah mother nags more than my mama.

I get to complete my empty and loneliness with naimah sayang yesterday on the phone. OBVIOUSLY we did alot of gossipings and sharing some new stuffs. We crap and talked till 3 am. HAHA. Realising, tommorrow i am working and having tuition.

And so, my tutees are having the common test, and i hope they will do very well for it, despite the short time i have with them.

I hope it will be cancelled!
Waste my time uh.


k, goodbye!

@ 9:33 AM