I am gonna give this post a very long and formal post. And i know for sure, after reading this post, he will ask me alot of queston which i think, i will be ready for it. ;)

I had never thought that i am going to end this this way. I am afraid of leaving in the dull dull world with no one to turn to and love that i could get. He was the nicest element i had ever met since. And he is the sweetest sweet that i had every had. The best drug that mixes well with the alcohol to keep it going. He knows that i love him that very much that every single time i breath, i whisper his name underneath.

Back then, i had never went home alone without any company. From him especially. I never had to check my phone every moment waiting for his texts or calls. Cause i know, he will surely do it. But now, everything has to leave it to oneself. Though, this is the end to what i had call upon for, i still waits for his msges and calls. I miss the time we laugh our asses off to a very silly and funny thing that the both of us shared. I miss his warm fingers wiping off my tears when i weep that i am afraid to lose him. I miss the warmth and secure he gave me every single time i am by his side.


I miss texting him where i am going and all. I miss the night msges and greetings. I miss the whole thing i went through with him together. I love him still. But yet, as days pass by, the ego in me swells more and more, just that, it makes me even stubborn that i could lead my own way without him. I wanna be with him for all i could. but it's just too early for me to set my commitment and all. i wanna focus on things i wanna do. cause i wanna be the best. i had failed a lot of times. and yet, i kept persevering. But why, love make me so weak, that i even need a pair of ears and eyes listening and looking at me everytime i feel like weeping?


Now, i sleep without any wishes. He sleeps all by himself. Holding the anger,sadness and everything that he usually share with me and all. I tried my best to be the one that he had been looking for. But every time i'm away a few steps, i fell. Cause i always turn back to the past. to the past mistake he did. I know, its totally unfair, but..its just me.. If he were to love me all his heart. he should and have to accept the weaknesses in me... but, he just cudden. yet, he pull me down and tell me straight to me, that i am the biggest failure as if.



-i am tired of missing you. i am tired of wishing..but this is all i could do.. cause i kept waiting for you.... suddenly i felt, u need me no more...













labels: i miss you,love.