I never wanted this path that i was given. That is full of hatred, grievances and even torcher. I never ever had wanted the choice to be so lethargic going back from school and even the next morning. But because of you, i give in to my eyes. I know i had no enough sleeps and rest. And all you could say was, i never understand what life you'd been going through. I am lethargic. I ain't a human machine. I do have feelings. And all those fault and fingers were on me. Never were they on yours. I knew i was never perfect, to be yours and them. I know i was not the right pick, cause i hurt you too much. I know i had made you suffer once, and i totally believe that karma exist. And if that's the reason of what i am going through now and today, please, save me oh ALLAH. I had never had the best specimen that could read my heart, my feelings even without hearing my voice. I know i was never ever correct and perfect, but is that the reason for you to blame me for all my misdeeds. I never planned or asked for all this unfortunate fate, but if this is what has been destined to me now, i accept it all my heart. But just give me ample strength that i need as my useful source. And therefore, end it quick. I may sound asking for too much. This and that, but what can i ever ask for that could end my problems and sorrows quick. I know i am not the only one that is suffering, but slowly, the innner me is giving up. Giving bit by bit.

C'mon, touch my heart and ask me, if i ever wanted all this. Look into my eyes how much i need the soothing care and voice to enhance my day. Hear my talk all the day that like a meal without dessert. Look again into the hands that are moving and legs that are stepping on the stepping stones in adulthood, whether or not they are right and all.

I am fussy.

@ 10:12 AM