You don't have to waste your time to travel all the way to meet me. Singapore is a very modern country with a lot of modern technologies and facilities. You can always ring me up and criticise me all your heart. I don't mind or even bother to every single word you said. You acted like one stupid hungry baby. Even the stupid baby is much more cleverer than you are.

I still do not get the momentum to seat and study for hours like i did during my o levels. I am tired of every single problem that had or have not cropped up. I need a break to everything that is happening. I just wish that i can be like some people out there.

It's a fake smile that I put on.
And I was never myself
since the day
things happen.

I tried my best to ensure
Mum and dad are happy
Not to the extreme
But at least they wouldn't teared

I am sorry, I failed to bring glory.
That you both hoped for.
I've tried my very best,
But indeed, i still lost.

It isn't the game im refering to
But its the phase that I brought you through.

Labels : Can't wait to meet sufiah darling!

Sunday, June 28, 2009 ♥

Layer 1: On the outside
Name: NUR HIDAYAH ARIFFIN
Birth date: 16 November 1992
Current status: Married
Eye colour: brown n white
Hair colour: A mixture of black n brown..its NATURAL!

Layer 2: On the inside
My heritage: Islam BUT Muslim
My fears: Being left or neglected. Truth (sometimes). Small creatures (bugs).
My weaknesses: To be straight forward. Get to the point.
My perfect pizza: Hawaiian can??

Layer 3:Yesterdae, Today, Tomorrow
My first thought of waking up: Umm.. Sleep back or Bath?
My bed time: Never constant.
My most missed memories: Everything in the past.

Layer 4: My pick
Pepsi or coke: Sprite
Single or group dates: Single
Adidas or Nike: Billabong
Vanilla or chocolate: Kit kat chunky
Cappucino or coffee: Teh-Oh ais

Layer 5:Do You?
Smoke: Ammonia gas. Pungent smell.

Curse: Uh-huh
Take a shower: Duh.
Have a crush: married oready.
Go to school: uh-huh
Believe in yourself: Yeap

Layer 6: In the past
Drink alcohol: Spraying parfume counts?
Gone to the mall: Causeway Point can?
Dyed your hair: Natural.

Layer 7: Have you ever..?
Played a stripping game: Bathroom?
Change who you were to fit in: No thanks.

Layer 8:Are you hoping to
Get married: Im married.

Layer 9:In a partner
Best eye colour: Like hubbie. With long eyelashes.
Best hair colour: Natural please.
Long or short hair: I prefer tidy hair.

Layer 10: What were you doing
A minute ago: report.
An hour ago: bathing
A month ago: breathing
A year ago: o levels

Layer 11: Finish the sentences
I love: Chocolates
I hide: my fears
I miss: talking
I need: water, food and air to live

Layer 12:
TAG 5: Anyone will do..

@ 10:18 AM

♥

Alot of bad news in just a week.

I got no jobs. I got no scholarship to help me with my studies and life in poly.

Got rejected. what a luck?

I'm dissapointed.

That's it.

@ 9:18 AM

Saturday, June 27, 2009 ♥

Exhausted.

I had a horrible + solemn night yesterday. Daddy had flu, fever, cough and sore throat. All in my mind at that moment of time was that, "No. It won't happen on him." I talked, shared my views and all with him. He told me to accompany him till he fall asleep. I recalled, the moments i shared with late granny. I miss her so.

As i massaged daddy, i teared. I teared alot. But i kept quiet. All i did was to say yes or no. I slept late last night.

A night when of, without hearing your voice.

Woke up early for kenduri at Mak arni's house. Help her packed the food. Go sheng siong. Clean her place. All the way till mid-day. Do you guys remember i told you guys about my scandal, Farhan? The cutie, intelligent young boy. Read the conversation below.

Umi : Farhan, tules namer umi dgn abah dekat paper nie lahh.
farhan : Tak nak lah. Takder tempat.
dayah : Kat tepi tu boleh tules. Kak dayah nak tengok lahh.
farhan : Tak boleh lah. Tak der tempat. Nanti kene saman.


HAHA. Hilarious.

I cudden take it but to laugh out loud. HAHA.










Labels : Things happen. And I believe in karma.

@ 10:00 AM

Thursday, June 25, 2009 ♥

I was blog hopping just now. Until donnoe go where.
You know, its kind of fun to look back at the past, where people blog about the moments with you. It is such a huge bore if you keep on reading your past post.

I came by this blog full with pictures. very little words. She is a malay dancer. I realised that how much I've changed my inner self. Since I'm a primary 2 kid that loves dancing to a teenage that is invovle in silat. Having one-self to have bruises and minor injuries all over her body.

That moment when i dance gracefully with the flip fans, chopsticks and alot of musical instruments, i was still a very soft lingered girl that can twist her hands and butt real smoothly. I tried out just now and it was such a humiliation if i were to do it in front of a huge crowd.

Then, i came across a model's blog. I took part in cat-walking when i reached the age of 10. With the cute cute and feminine post, looking right into the camera without giving any attention to crowds. And now, i am having stage fright when it comes to performance.

Then, i saw a singer;s blog. I sing when i am 9. Whenever i had the chance to sing, i will. Especially when i am at any one's wedding ceremony. And the choice of song i usually picked is Siti Nurhaliza and Noraniza Idris. And now, i am listening to Jiwang a.k.a. slow rock song.

I was counting the days with my cute little short fingers, when i just realised that i had not been dreaming during my sleeps this couple of weeks. I guess, it's either i am too tired to dream or, i dream but i forget. HAHA.

I walked into mama's room and lay down by her side. I purposely adjust myself and measure our leg. HOLY COW again. I have the shortest pair of leg at home. You know what appauled me more is that, mama is shorter than me. How can she have longer pair of legs than mine??


WEIRD eh.




School holiday is extended. Which means, common test will be postponed. Yeah or not. Yeah, cause i have more time for revision, nots. Not, cause our lesson time will be delayed. It means, long semester? Lesser future breaks?

assignments are not fully completed. reports for EG 1024 is due on week 13. And i have not started even on the research part. cool huh?

I have yet receive any signals for my butt to get screwed on the chair and heads dropped down, staring and browsing through lecture notes. What am you doing, dayah? Like seriously. Poly common test isn't similar like secondary school common test where you can decide to flunk the paper or not.


-_______________________-

"It has always been the same old game. I am tired of
it. Truly i am."

@ 9:07 AM

Wednesday, June 24, 2009 ♥

A long day spent fruitfully with my lovely family.
At last, u see. I was always busy with school and silat. And now is the only moment that i could spent with my family. I just missed those moment. Add on to the financial crisis i am having with my family.

We headed to civic centre to settle some bills. While waiting for mum, i went to Tom & Stephanie with nurul and syira, i bought the sour sweet thing. Initially, i wanted to share with the both of them, but they couldn't stand the taste. Then syira asked me, "Kak, where did the sour taste come from? Is it Salt?" HAHA. Then i said, "Its from aji-na-moto."

HAHA. Hilarious.

We headed to Woodlands checkpoint. To get some stuffs. Its a happy news that mom just got her salary and some loan thingy. Its all due to the patience that i and my family held on to all this while. Especially being backstabbed by our own nearby family. I bought a new bag for outing purposes and a new sandals. Did i mentioned, i lost my pair of newly bought sandals aged, 3 days, got lost at PECC? during inter-grasio some more. Holy COW!

Then off to popular. Syira said, "MA, all my stationaries in my pencil box got lost." Like, how easy ehhh?!

Anw, hubbie is facing a very vast improvement in hand skill. Taught by daddy.


Congrats sayang.










Labels : The violent couple.

@ 8:36 AM

Tuesday, June 23, 2009 ♥

Back from training.
Not Silat. BUT free style sparring with dad,hubbie and sis.
Everything goes them well. I am effing happy about the vast improvements that my family had for hubbie. It is not what i had recently expected. Its all due to the moments of patience that hubbie had thought me all this while.

I am proud to have him all by my side. To train with me for my every moves and all. Bleargh. I still remember my first meet with hubbie. The day when i decided to accept him into my life. Its not kemarok when i keep talking about him. But its how my life goes on as usual with him all by my side.

We trained so hard for the title. And indeed, during our trial fight, we did not even keep any love feelings for anyone. He gave me a tough fight. YEAH!

ok lahhh... time to relax n rest.




labels : Don't leave me,b...

@ 8:02 AM

Sunday, June 21, 2009 ♥

Congrats Hubbie for getting a silver for his ganda senior male category.

Congrats Sister for getting bronze in the pre junior female category.

I had my strength which is you.

I had the love from you.

B, i love you.

Labels: I miss you.

@ 8:30 AM

Friday, June 19, 2009 ♥

I know, i may not be in the team, but one day i will.
I would like to extend my gratitude to hubbie and insyira for tommorow's competition.
All the best sayangs.

I have a huge lump on my side calf.
It came with the big bruise.
I have a swollen foot.
Which makes me wear my slippers uncomfortably.

All i wish for is to have good legs back,
so i can proceed with my normal trainings and strengthening.
I miss them, though.


ALL the FREAKING BEST for common test!

@ 9:38 AM

Wednesday, June 17, 2009 ♥

whole day at home.
all i did was to slack. i din go for training at NYP today cause i was having my self-claiming rest.
I think, my leg needs a long rest. Its real painful, especially when it gets to get numb.
All i could do when hubbie is around is to grab his arm and hold it tight.

Everything was perfectly ok.
I just realised, i wasted my one week break today.
I am suppose to study. I did, i cudden get the momentum to study in the day, and so i slept.
I woke up and bathed. I tried revising after mid-day pray. But i still cudden get the life. I just did, domain and range. And i just realise about the angle reference thingy.

*at least i did some easy stuff.

Early morning i received a text message that my transfer to work at w888 guardian is rejected.
No swensen or watson calls. An old friend of mine called his friend that work at 7 eleven. But im suppose to be 18 yrs and above. So i thought, it's ok. No rezki.
Then his friend called the HQ i think. He said, if i could do a freelance work, office kind. Then i say, i need to discuss with my parents. And if i'm interested, i will need to go down to eunos and meet the manager there.

I told mama. Mama was worried if i could get lost. So,she told me, "If yad could go with you, ask him to." Sadly, he is having PSK training tmr. So, its ok. the only thing is that, what to wear?

I am getting bored of this layout. Prolly, i shall start changing again!
HEH.

@ 9:09 AM

Tuesday, June 16, 2009 ♥

I had been a way for awhile.
All the silat competitions are done. Now to catch up on studies. Besides that, normal trainings are back to usual.

I met up with naimah. After long long long never mit. She so cute luh. HAHA. Chubby giler.
We went to woodlands stadium .To run 2.4km means to run 6 rounds around the track. I did mine with my heavy left calf. And she did her 2 km. * She said she want to run 2.4km. and nids motivation. HAHA

We take alot of pictures. Later i upload.
I now, very the lazy to blog.
I blog about what i also don't know.
I now moodswing, dunnoe want to do what.





AHHHH!!!!
BORING LUH!

Labels: Im done with.

@ 7:25 AM

Friday, June 12, 2009 ♥

I felt that my time was spent with hubbie and family well. IVP and Inter-grasio end, but that doesnt mean, i will stop my regular trainings. Term break begins today. NOT holiday ehh. its more of study break. Im weak in my four main modules. The others are ok lahh..


Lets briefly go through what modules i took this term ehh.

- Eg 1201: Autocadd.

- Eg 1213: Project Semestral

- Eg 1087: Personal development

- Eg 1024: Materials Technology

- Eg 1212: Manufacturing Technology

- Eg 1001: Engineering mathematics

- Eg 1211: Engineering Mechanics



the last four modules are tested during common test. Haiseeeeeehhhh.

Sadly, i cudden come down for IVP finals to support. I got something on.


I meet shu syg and lily darling at causeway point just now.
I enjoyed training just now.





Hubbie,

Sayang, pepatah yang amat bermakna dalam diariku. Sinarmu, itu lah yang menerangi hari gelapku. Kekatamu, adalah pegangan hidupku. Nafasmu, menjadi semangat yang menebal di dalam sanubariku.



Kehadiranmu membawa seribu makna dalam hidup yang sedangku lalui. Kau memberi aku seribu pedoman untuk dijadikan pegangan dalam diriku. Biarpun telah kau aku kecewakan dahulu, cinta dan kasihmu tetap teguh untukku. Kau mengajar aku erti kesabaran yang menjadi musuhku, lawanku. Beribu bintang yang bersinaran, namun kehadiran sinarmu lah yang paling terang.



Tirai hatiku aku labuhkan, hanya untukmu. Segala kesilapan dan kejadian lalu, aku jadikan tauladan agar aku matang menanangi setiap hempedu yang bakal aku rasakan. Demi kasih ini, akan aku buktikan, kesetiaan yang sememangnya menjadi kunci pada pertalian ini.....

@ 9:28 AM

Monday, June 8, 2009 ♥

And so, im done with ivp and inter grasio.
IVP- Im done with it it means no more late trainings except the compulsory ones. It means, more time for studies for my common test. I know i am slacking and lagging behind. I will give this 3 weeks a hard time for my studies.

Inter-grasio.
Fight with fazlin was sure a hard one. To fight with a more experienced and well-named person somehow pull me aback. Due to the motivations given i was getting alot more confidence in myself. I will share some beautiful quotes that coach in school and grasio and dad had given me. Before the IVP day, coach actually screened a video titled, "PRIDE". It was a very good video about the Whites' and Blacks' in the Western world.

The only different thing is that, the sport is about swimming. The storyline i don't really remember but the moral of the story i do. ITs all about your pride in things you do.

" It doesn't matter where you swim/fight, but its how you swim/fight. "
" The world isn't black or white. Its always somewhere there. "
" In order to win, you have to lose. "
" National tak national, dorang makan nasi jugak. "
" Rembat jer! "

HAHA.
If i am going to be a coach, i will ensure all my students get all this words inside their brain cells. CEH! Berangan lahh pulak.

At one point after my fight, i wasnt scard of going forward. Seriously i'm not. Especially my first two rounds. Heard it was my game. But the third round she grab hold of it. I senak liao. Never eat somemore. I had a hard time to put up my leg, so i played with my hands. I got a bronze for inter-grasio. I dissapoint my supporters, sayang and especially my parents. But i had given a good one. Heard from one of the jury-s i lost to a small margin. A very slight one.













LABELS : I will come back.

@ 7:42 AM

Saturday, June 6, 2009 ♥

IVP was great.
the spirit and all is superb. Only the beginning.
Monday im having test but.. Im ain't ready.

With the determination put in, the regu puteri-s got through the finals and we got forth. Forth for 3 weeks of training only. Great.
PERFECT for the first time. there is still next yr. I want join NYP tanding group can? Mum,dad and sisters were there to support me n my team though. All of this have not end yet. And therefore, STRIVE it babeh. Hubbie cudden turn up.. =(
I was somehow downhearted cause other couples were together.

Tommorow is the big day. I believe in myself. I will do my best. I will give all out. I just want mama and ayah by my side.
All the best to me myself.










LABELS : Im dissapointed.

@ 8:50 AM

Wednesday, June 3, 2009 ♥

Im totally exhausted.

This week packed with IVP and inter-grasio. It is already confirm that i will be fighting this sunday after 3pm. I am confident of a good fight. One thing that i am thankful of is that my regu competition will be before my fight. And hence, i am not afraid of having injury that won't have enough time to recover. I was hoping that my fight is after my seni. I am sure that my toe will get injured again due to my fight.

Imagine to go home late at night, after regu training, u were told to kick and punch the padding even. I am pushing myself over my limits. I am totally sure of that. And much more is coming. I am uberly worn out. I am hoping that Allah will be at my side. To ensure my safety and warmth.

Test by test. Common test nearing, and i am making no effort to do my best. I am tired that's it.

I miss spending my time with my family and hubbie. I miss them alot. I miss the family outings and more. I miss the warmth and secure when i am with them. Alot of things cropped up at home. But i am willing to let it go slowly. Sooner or later, i will be working at guardian again, triple 8 to support my poly life. I miss buying new clothes for myself and siblings.





-___________________-





Sleepy.










Labels : Help me oh Allah.

@ 7:35 PM