Rizal,
Biarlah ikatan ini tergantung. At least, i still can meddle with our memories. Maafkan i, sebab i tak mampu menjadi seorang teman yang u inginkan. Maafkan i sebab hati u i hancurkan dengan kekater kesat. Bukan niat i, namun, kemarahan yang banyak menghakis perasaan kesabaran. I tak ader niat untuk menghancurkan hati u. SUNGGUH.

Perasaan i suci dan luhur untuk u. I was confident to be with u back as again. But after that night, i know how wrong i was. You were angrier then i tot, i tak tau nikmat kesabaran aper yang i perolehi sehinggakan i blh berdiam walau mcm maner you tinggikan suare. I tak tau kehormatan yang setinggi maner yang i ada buat u sehinggakan i berdiam walaupun jawapannyer i ada. I just feel im a little girl, scolded by a father for being rude.

I went the nite without asking u how are u, have u eaten, have u had enuf rest or not. AND IT SERIOUSLY FUCKINGLY SUCKS! i hate that one nite where i have to go through a series of wake up and sleep. Tidur i tk lena u. I felt so incomplete without asking u all the question i usually ask. And i felt even not insecured deep inside, wen i had not said, 'Gdnyte Syg, i love u b..' I am not me on that night. Yeah, it truly sucks. I tried my best not to hold on to my handphone. Coz i noe, the msg tone wun play and the call tone wun ring. I stay far away from my handphone so i wun luk at our pictures and the sweet msges u gave me and even edit the msges that ive saved for you to read long ago. Tapi, tak sempat. Ive not found the right time to let u read it.

YES, no relationship will survive with both party being self-centered. And no relationship will survive with egoism. But i noe it will, if one of the party gives in. BUT the big question is...TILL WHEN?? I hate myself for being ego. But, im willing to give in just for the matter of love. You entered my life wen i need sum1 to be with me.You were the light to my darkest path. You lit up wen i whisper ur name. And u be by me as soon as i almost tumble; so, i cud held on to ur arms.

Rizal, ive never felt the way i feel right now. The more i wanna ferget about being with u again, the more i fell in love with u. And wen, ive almost succeeded not to contact u a day, u asked me wad was i doing. WHAT DOES DAT MEANS?? do u love me? do u miss me? do u nid me? wud u hug me like u used to? wud u held my hand like always? wud u let my hands touch ur cheeks? wud u let my fingers pinch ur nose? wud u let me whisper the 3 werds into ur ears? WILL THAT HAPPEN AGAIN?! if ever a day goes by without u hearing from me,please do noe that, i love u more than i love u. I miss u more than ive used to, and i nid you more than i wan u. Coz without YOU, i will be asphyxiated; breathless...

AND, if ever a time comes, if i had to go far away from u, do know that i treasure every seconds of time that i spent with u including, in my sleep. I wun begged u to cum to my life again, coz im afraid,it will be out of sympathy.. i wun show u how sad i am,if u were to leave me,because i dun want u to feel bad.. But at least, say goodbye...before u leave...

p/s: i fuckingly miss him. n i seriously nid u more than i wan u.